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I learned of Fred’s passing through one of Kristi’s Facebook posts. Fred and Kristi were good friends of mine and Victoria's when we lived in Indiana. Kristi gave us horseback riding lessons and I helped her with chores around the stables.
The first impression Fred gave was that he was extremely stern and gruff, but once you got to know him, you found out that he was actually the most goodhearted, generous, genuine person you could ever meet. If he could help you, he would. If he had something you needed, it was yours.
When I found out that Fred had passed away, I contacted Kristi and said,
“You've really been on my mind. I don't get on Facebook very often so I wasn't aware Fred was ill. Victoria and I were both devastated. You are in our thoughts and prayers. I'm sure you have a good support system, but reach out if you ever need to talk. I'm always here for you!"
Kristi replied,
“Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. We didn't really put much on Facebook, but I just wanted to let everyone know he was gone. That was the best/easiest way I could figure how to do it."
I told Kristi,
“You handled it well, and the way Fred wanted it, I'm sure. If I was ill, I wouldn't post it on Facebook, either, but would want Victoria to let people know after I was gone. I hope your spirit is healing as best it can. You and Fred were always two of our favorite friends.
What I didn’t tell Kristi was that as soon as I read that Fred had passed, I had an overwhelming urge to create a portrait of Fred and Kristi and to send it to her in Tennessee. I've never felt led to paint and gift a portrait like this, but I was really compelled to do this one for her. As I worked on the portrait, I kept telling Victoria,
"Oh my God, Fred is right here leading me through this."
It was an emotional experience and I felt Fred's presence, both when I was working on the painting and when I wasn't. As I painted his eyes, it felt like he was looking deeply into my soul and urging me to finish the piece and send it off to Kristi. When I say this was a gift from Fred to Kristi, that’s exactly what it was. I didn’t feel like I had much of a hand in it. They both looked younger in my portrait, and I knew that's how Fred saw them - both young at heart. It was such a sweet journey for me to take with him.
When the painting was delivered as a complete surprise, Kristi wrote to me,
“Oh my goodness!! The canvas arrived today, and it is gorgeous! Thank you so very much, my dear friend. I will treasure it always!”
I replied,
“I created this with much love for both of you and Fred was right by my side. I'm sure you can feel him always. I would love to post this on my page but if you'd rather I didn't, I understand. This was truly a gift from Fred to you.”
Kristi wrote back,
“Ok, you just made me cry. A wonderful gift from you and Fred. I would be honored for you to share this beautiful piece with everyone. I don't have the words to express my gratitude.”
Kristi sent me a picture after Fred's headstone was placed. The wording on the headstone read:
Wheelin’ and Dealin’ to the End
The 22nd of May
Great
Fred Crowe
Drive By
As it turns out, the picture on the headstone was the SAME one I had chosen for the painting after looking through YEARS of Kristi's and Fred's photos on Facebook. Serendipitous, and all Fred's doing, I am convinced.
Kristi said,
“That is my FAVORITE photo! Did I tell you that the funeral home felt bad that things didn't go right, so they refunded the money? That is the "Wheelin and Dealin to the end." His family and friends will understand that!
"The Drive By part is what our friend, who is an elder at the church, wanted added (I agreed) because 2 days before Fred passed, his nephew, brother, and I took him for a ride in his beloved 1955 Chevy Bel Air and went to the church to see everyone at bible study.
"The first inscription; Fred always got deals on stuff. Our son made the casket and brought it to Tennessee the night before the burial. Well, I was not given any dimensions, and the casket did not fit in the vault! They called me the morning of the planned burial. I was not having a regular funeral. They had an oversize vault but couldn't get it until the next day.
"There were people who came down from Indiana and Michigan who couldn't stay the extra day. We ended up having a small ceremony in the church. The next morning, we had the burial. The funeral director felt bad that everything did not go according to plan. So, they refunded the money! That was Fred's final 'good deal'.
"Kevin did a great job on the casket. A few of Fred's friends went to Kevin's to help. That is what Kev wanted to do, get everyone together, tell stories and build.
After reading that, I told Kristi,
"That was so awesome. A real celebration of his life. I love those messages on the stone. So fun and personal, just like Fred."
Kristi responded,
"Yes, it is. He was a good person who touched a lot of lives."
Fred did touch a lot of lives and I am delighted that he came back one last time to touch mine in a special way. He was wheelin’ and dealin’ with my inner spirit and led me to create a painting for Kristi that would let her know, in no uncertain terms, that he was still around, sending a sweet, loving message to her. AND, he was able to do it for free! What a wheeler-dealer.
This is truly one of my favorite stories!
Designing in Spirit,
Virginia
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